She shoots, she scores! Paris Hilton, opportunist extraordinaire, scored the upgrade of a lifetime last week when she canned Doug Reinhardt and bagged Cristiano Ronaldo the very next night. This was not the first time Wonky made a move for soccer's newest golden boy; she's had her eye on him for a long time. But how long can she keep the It Boy all to herself?

Perhaps all to herself is a tall order. The Portuguese soccer star just landed the dream deal of a lifetime. He's rich beyond his wildest dreams, he's young, and he is hot. No doubt about it. He could have any woman - one who doesn't give the gift you have to medicate forever, for example. Paris is still very pretty when photographed from the right angle and early enough in the night, but that girl has some serious miles. Not highway miles; we're talking serious stop-and-go, which usually results in excessive wear and tear. Even the fanciest car will look like a jalopy if it's always rode hard and put away wet. Actually, that analogy was just a little too close to home. I'm a bit queasy.

A day or so after Paris and Cristiano's very public and very lascivious first night together it was rumored that he was spotted somewhere else entertaining a new group of ... groupies. But today The Sun is reporting that they had a second night together - or at least part of a night, at a private party at her house. Maybe she's trying to make him see that she's more than just a hook-up. She better hope to hell he doesn't know how to Google.