Is that why Melania is always scowling? Is it attacking her at night, too? Maybe not; the Trumps could well be like the Cruises, sleeping in separate quarters and/or wings. That combover is tired, though. Hey, if Travolta could give up the weave for spray-on hair, can't the Donald give up the combover for a tidy little toup?

I wonder what would happen if Donald finally chopped off that unwieldy mass of aggressive hair. How much of that is really his hair, and how much is Jessica Simpson hair extensions? You can just tell he's a customer. Or their chief inspiration.

Trump is supposedly loaded (at least on paper); why doesn't he just get transplants? They've come a long way since the 80s - it doesn't even look like fake hair when done right. Is he just stingy, or is he clever enough to realize it's become his trademark? And just what would the Donald look like with a normal haircut? Honestly, I'd love to spend the evening Photoshopping different 'dos on his squinchy face, but it's not within my realm; perhaps some things really are best left to the imagination.