Talk about members of the tribe. She's got the extensions, he's got the weave. How can you tell they're kindred souls? They've both got pupils like dinner plates and no souls. If the world was suddenly over capacity and we had to ditch all superfluous beings to survive, they'd be at the front of the line. Yet they both get a lot of tabloid attention, leading one to the inevitable conclusion: Could they be an item?

You ask yourself, Is Jeremy boinking Mushy Barbags? I mean, she's kind of attractive in a telephoto from 2 miles kind of way, but certainly nothing to beat the, um, band over. She usually dresses like a colorblind clown stripper whore, and has a nasty habit of airing her chesticles in public.

Why foist this tweakin' freak on the Pivenator? Oh, call it just desserts. Since being well-known for his role on Entourage, Jeremy is trying to make up for all those dry years when he had to make do on his own. In his eagerness to leave no ho unturned he sometimes forces himself to entertain more than one simultaneously. Such a kind and thoughtful one he is.

To recap: These two are perfect for each other. They'll either elope within three months or instantly despise each other. I think the latter would be much more fun.