Towleroad has found the perfect Christmas gift for your favorite closeted homosexual: It's a talking Larry Craig doll. Push the button to hear him deny his gaiety.
Speaking of closeted gays, Gyllenspoon faked a little mile-high sex this week. I like totally believe that. No wonder Reese is the highest paid actress in Hollywood these days.
A moment of sadness: Brad Pitt says he will do buck naked no more. Angelina truly has ruined him for other women.
Britney got pregnant again. He whose name rhymes with "scrotum" says he did it. Then he said he didn't.
In other useless celebrity news, Paris Hilton is still a pothead and a pig. Big surprise.
Equally useless Lindsay Lohan gave her pudgy little snowboarder the boot because he partied up in New York, then went and did the same thing herself. But it's different for her. Plus she's sneaking around with Stavros again.
Linda Hogan gave her Hulkamaniac of 25 years the boot to keep the lawyers from taking all her money. He says he's not giving her another cent, and the boy can come live with him. You know, so he can buy him more beer and race cars. Why wasn't he named Father of the Year?
Maybe the neighbor isn't so nutty after all. I mean, in a certain light she's almost passable. Tell you what, I'll fill in for the pool boy tomorrow. If we sneak up behind her, she'll never notice the difference anyway.
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