Note to Keira: Here's a buck - go get yourself a sandwich. I've seen better chests on 80-year-old men - postmortem.

I don't know what Keira is smoking - it's certainly not pot, or she'd have the munchies and eat something. She can't be in her right mind. If she were, she wouldn't have her pasty, bony chest exposed like that. Any self-respecting woman would hide such an abomination. Even that guy behind her is wondering if that thing is still breathing.

This look might work if she was playing the Ghost of Christmas Past in A Christmas Carol. But she's not, and that death froze over look really has to stop. What kind of example is she setting for all those young girls watching Pirates of the Caribbean? Hey, girls, want to be a big movie star? Stop eating now. Dumb twit.

Stay tuned next week as Keira turns sideways ... and disappears.