Pastor Ted Haggard the liar

Hours after being fired from The New Life Church he founded, evangelical Pastor Ted Haggard confessed to a "lifelong" (gay) sexual problem.

In a letter read to members of his New Life Church Sunday, Haggard said he is "a deceiver and a liar." Haggard apologized to his congregation in the letter and asked for their forgiveness reports CNN.

"There is part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life," Haggard said in the letter read by Pastor Larry Stockstill, a member of the board of overseers of New Life Church.

"He didn't violate you; I did," Haggard said.

While the letter was read, more than 7,000 people in attendance sat in silence, some of them weeping.

"The fact is, I am guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem," he wrote.

Haggard said he and his wife, Gayle, "need to be gone for a while," and will never return to a leadership role at New Life Church.

Gayle Haggard also released a letter to the congregation. In it, she professed her commitment to her marriage and her belief in the teachings of the church.

"I would not change one iota of what I have been teaching the women of our church," Gayle Haggard wrote. "For those of you who have been concerned that my marriage was so perfect I could not possibly relate to the women who are facing great difficulties, know that this will never again be the case.

On Saturday, members of the board ousted Haggard from the 14,000-member church, citing his "sexually immoral conduct."

Shamed Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought the dangerous drug methamphetamine (METH) and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay-marriage opponent.

Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.

"I bought it for myself but never used it," he said.

Haggard, a married father of five, said he never had sex with Mike Jones, a 49-year-old male prostitute.

Mike Jones claims the prominent pastor paid him for sex over a three-year period.

Jones said the relationship began when a man identifying himself as "Art" -- who said he was a married man from Kansas City, Missouri -- sought his services. Jones said he advertised at the time as a male prostitute on the Internet and in newspapers serving the gay community.

The two saw each other about once a month, with Art visiting Jones in Denver and paying him $200 in cash "for no more than an hour," Jones said.

"It was not emotional. It was physical, just strictly physical," he said.

Jones provided two voice messages to the local news channel, 9News, claiming they include the voice of Haggard calling him. A voice expert told 9NEWS that the messages left for the male escort matched the voice of Pastor Haggard. Jones claims Art is really Haggard and is referring to methamphetamines in the messages.

Haggard still claims he is not gay and did not engage in homosexual conduct, the head of the panel said.

In a news conference after the service, the head of the oversight board, Pastor Larry Stockstill of Baton Rouge, La., told reporters that Haggard denied engaging in homosexual acts or being gay. Stockstill said Haggard's admission that he received a massage from a gay man was enough grounds for the board to remove him.

At the same time, Stockstill said the board found discrepancies in Haggard's account.

"(Haggard) is not in touch with truth and reality, and he readily admitted that," Stockstill said.

A separate pastoral board, still being formed, will work further with Haggard to explore his sexual issues in more depth, Stockstill said. That will include but won't be limited to performing polygraph tests on Haggard and consulting with a clinical psychologist, he said.

Stockstill said Haggard indicated that there were "warning signs" about his sexual desires early in his life. Stockstill said he is confident Haggard would regard homosexuality not as a predisposition, but a temptation to be fought.

The oversight board received no information about additional allegations of sexual impropriety involving Haggard, Stockstill said.

He acknowledged "inconsistent statements" for which he was solely responsible.

"My test has begun; watch me. I will try to prove myself faithful."