Britney Spears hires Madonna's team for next album

One of Lou Rawls greatest hit songs is “Dead End Street.� This past year, the singer has been diagnosed with lung cancer and brain cancer. “Don’t count me out, brother,� he said in his room at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. “There’s been many people who have been diagnosed with this kind of thing, and they’re still jumpin’ and pumpin’.�

Jumpin’ and Pumpin’ is just the way The Bosh likes it! But lung and brain cancers are the least of Rawls’ problems. His estranged wife Nina is making him wish he’d never recorded “Love is a Hurtin’ Thing.� She is telling the press, and most likely also praying to god, that Rawls will soon go to that big music studio in the sky. Rawls has sold in excess of 40 million albums; Nina wants as much of that action as she can get.

In her capacity as his manager, she claims to have transferred $350,000 into an account under her control “to prevent one of Rawls’ two adult daughters from seizing the money.� In other words: Cat fight alert! Cat fight alert! We fully expect that next year at this time, Lou Rawls will still be jumpin’ and pumpin’, if not in Nina.