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Mo'Nique Imes-Jackson |
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Are you tired of these skinny little waifs with their multiple hundreds of millions bank accounts and eating disorders so severe that they can't eat a rice cracker without purging? The antidote to all that is here! Mo'Nique Imes-Jackson will star in the film "Phat Girlz," directed by Bobby Newmyer and scheduled for release in April, 2006. No word yet on whether the love scene between an actual, aroused, male hippopotamus and a fat human female will make the final cut.
Mo'Nique; what's with the apostrophe? Were they afraid that the o would gain too much weight and leave insufficient space for the N? Wagging tongues never tire of reminiscing about how Mo'Nique launched her own clothing line "Mo'Nique's Big Beautiful and Loving It" in August 2000. In 2002, it died the death, a victim of society's disgust for jiggle-bellied, caboose-bottomed, torpedo-titties, multiple-wattled females.
Despite her obesity, Mo'Nique floated to the top of the best-sellers lists with her book "Skinny Women Are Evil." So many men had their taste in women change as a result of reading that literary landmark that for a time, girls under 300 pounds barely stood a chance of getting a date. The "Phat Girlz" story will involve an obesity-sized fashion designer who wins a free trip to Palm Springs. (By Scott Rose)
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