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February 25, 2005
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Durst Sex Tape |
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With commentators everywhere making fun of "little" Fred Durst and insinuating that his association with Limp Bizkit is the only reason a girl would submit to him, I felt duty-bound to watch the film myself. If what I saw is not going to win any adult-film awards, it nonetheless demonstrates that Mr. Durst knows the birds and the bees. He also knows how to plow a woman doggie-style. As seen in the tape, a curvaceous blonde raises her derriere high as Freddy stands behind her, teasing her with his microphone. Once he inserts it, he gives some pretty good riffs before delivering his only line in the film "Yeah! Touch my balls and my ass." The actor's tatoos and furred pot belly will doubtless excite those excited by such things. That "T-Mobile Terrorists" appears on the screen at all moments adds an avant-guarde touch to this artwork. The second scene involves the blonde girl singing into Fred's microphone, and while Fred seems happy with the audition, we doubt he'll use her in the band though the band will probably use her. While watching the film I ate, not popcorn, but rather Sevruga caviar on points of toast and I recommend you do the same to make the experience as pleasant as possible. (By Scott Rose)
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